I’m way too hard on myself. I am my toughest critic! I’m sure many people can say this about themselves. But I’m like really REALLY hard on myself. I expect greatness at all times! I know my strengths and how far I can push myself to achieve greatness. I’m an athlete so this is second nature to me. I’m on a new path in life, and I’m actively making some conscious decisions to change to live a healthier lifestyle. And one of my choices happened this morning.
I called out of work today. For some, this isn’t anything special. People call out of work all they time. I legitimately don’t feel well. It’s not the flu nor a head cold. I’m not dying and I can walk, so why did I call out today? My f’ing PERIOD! Damn my bad, that was kinda rude to just hit y’all with it like that! So let me give you a headsup, this will be a blog about my body, my menstrual period, and other feminine issues. If you ain’t about that life, I understand if you tap out now!
Now what was I saying again?! Oh yeah, I called out from work today because of my period. Now before the judgemental side eyes start, let me go back and explain somethings. I didn’t get my period until the summer going into my freshman year of high school, I was 13. For the most part, my periods have never really bothered me physically. I’ve ALWAYS bled REALLY heavy, but I figured out how to layer up and change out every 30-40 minutes. I understand now that this may not be common, but I’ve been dealing with my cycle for the past 19 yrs so I’ve figured out some life hacks. But for the most part I don’t have any crazy stories about having to miss school because of cramps or any other menstrual symptoms.
Growing up, I was extremely active in sports. As a teen my doctor once told me this was the reason I didn’t have bad symptoms. I didn’t fully understand it, but would thank God that I didn’t have bad cramps! In school I knew some girls that were out of school every month because of their cycles. In my younger, super naive and judgemental mind I would call these girls weak! I didn’t understand their pain. For the most part I just bleed way too heavy which only granted me some me pretty embarrassing moments. But for the most part, outside of the bleeding and occasional mood swings, I was good. Because my period never hit me that hard, there have been times in my past, I’ve been extremely desensitized to what women actually go through…. Until now!
I will never forgot the change. It was a late Spring night. A group of us were packed in my ball sister Frenchie’s car headed to play open gym. Sidebar: We used to have some EPIC battles at Rahway Open Gym, I digress. Somehow we start comparing “Period” stories. My naive ass was in awe of the stories my basketball sisters were telling! I had never experienced any of this growing up. I would often call girls who complained about their periods WEAK! Shame on me. I remember Frenchie saying “Just wait until 25”. I was 24 at the time, and didn’t believe the hype. But oh hunnie, when 25 hit, my body definitely decided against my will to shift!
It seemed as if I started bleeding even heavier and all of a sudden I started having crazy painful Cycle Symptoms! Extrem fatigue, back pains, bad cramps, dizzy spells, the works! I tired for the first two months, to woman up and take it like it was. But bye! I couldn’t take it anymore, plus I had full Heath insurance so I went to my OBGYN. Of course her reason was because I wasn’t as physically active any longer, my body was changing. She said some other things but ultimately she convinced me to go on birth control. We decided the Ring would be the best way for me to go. At first the ring was cool, my flow was light for the first time in my life! I had gone from five heavy days to only three! I’m on a high again, I had mastered the period game once again, back on my grind.
Fast forward a few yrs to this morning. No longer on birth control, laying in my bed in bloody pain, calling out of work. How the hell did I get here again? I thought I’d figured this thing out. How am I this weak, to call out of work because of a period? As I’m disappointedly asking myself all these questions, I check myself! ‘Jada Girl Bye, you are human. It’s ok’ I tell myself. This is life, this is the moment I am currently faced with. I have two choices at this point. I could try and be Super Woman again today, push my body passed this pain, pop MORE pain killers. Go to work and unproductively get all my cases done or I could take a day.
As you already know, I choose the latter. So as I’m soaking in my jacuzzi tub, with a hot cup of tea after placing my soiled sheets and pjs in the washing machine, I breathe. This is not the end of my word, I am not a WEAK woman who can’t handle a “simple period”. I am a conscious woman who now understands that I must respect my body in order to maintain a healthy mind, spirit and lifestyle! As long as I’ve grown and learned from this experience, I have overcome a huge mental battle. Im good, I will live to fight another day!