Sage That was Cute, But Really?!

Initially when I clicked on The Shade’s Room article of  Sage The Gemini’s IG post to Ex girlfriend Jordin Sparks, I thought I had no clue who this guy was. Clearly I have a life because I didn’t even know Jordin bagged herself another  boo. Last I heard (or paid attention to) was her break up with Jason Derulo.  However, earlier today Sage took to his Instagram page to air his feelings out about his missed love Jordin Sparks.

As I’m reading the story, of course I HAD to figure out who this guy is. So what did I do?  I went on Sage’s IG page to do more research (this guy is a little cutie). After about 5 minutes, I learned that this Sage The Gemini, is the same guy that sung that Red Nose song.  Y’all know the “She Gona Shake It, Like A Red Nose, LIIIKKKE A RED NOSE”. Lo key, this was my song real quick. I’m more than sure I’ve  partaking in a few “Red Nose” dance battles with my homegirls (judge me I don’t care 😝). But back to his post.

Although I think his intention were coming from a sincere place, I couldn’t help to notice a few key words that may indicate Mr. Gemini really isn’t missing Jordin in the sense of true love.

  1. “You the only girl that can wake up out of a dead sleep and get me some water because I was coughing in my sleep the only girl that loves me the way you were supposed to.”  I’m pretty sure a lot of us women have gotten up in the middle of the night to get Bae some water bc his ass was keeping us up with all his coughing. But this act is never something any woman is SUPPOSED TO DO! These are acts of love.
  2. “But yea this shit is crazy I just wanna tell you I’m still being a good boy just incase you come to your senses”. Sir, it would have been nice if you were “being a good boy” when you were with Jordin. But what do you mean “Come to your senses” LMAO 😂😂😂, for the sake of romance, I pray that this is some type of inside joke the couple understands. If not sir, please take several seats!!! 
  3. “Please call me back I just want like a hug and a kiss or something. Sincerely Dominic Wynn Woods”. So Sage you don’t want to talk, you want a hug, a kiss, or something. So this is a physical thing for you. This guy keeps digging a deeper grave.

No shade to Sage The Gemini, and his new age attempt at getting his woman back. However, his post seemed to only focus on his selfishness in the relationship. Almost every reason he gives of why he wants Jordin back has to do with how she treated him. What she did to and for HIM. Not once did we see an apology or any accountability as to what Sage did wrong in the relationship. No he doesn’t owe the reader any of this, but if his actions were honestly to woo Jordin back into his life, he definitely went about it the wrong way.

In life, people take other’s for granted. In life people often miss people not actually for who the other person is, but instead what the person did for them. No doubt Sage misses Jordin, it is evident in his IG  post. However, I think Sage needs to evaluate himself, and make whatever changes he needs to make for a healthy Sage/relationship moving forward. His previous IG post clearly show that he wants love and has a good heart (extending an invite to all the single people to meet up and go bowling on Valentine’s Day). But he has some personal growth to do.

If Jordin decides to take him back, it is ultimately up to her. The choice is her’s and no one else’s. If she does, hopefully they can forgive each other and move forward,  I would hope she knows and understands her worth. I am not hating on Sage, as a matter of fact the post was kinda cute and romantic (in a new age social media world), but I understand what a healthy relationship is and looks like. And in my opinion, of the quick glimpse of information I’ve interpided via his post, this guy needs to continue to do his work, and grow as a man.

Update, since yesterday Sage has deleted both Tweet and IG post . View The Shade Room’s post here.

Here is some back drama of Sage and Jordin’s The Drama 

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Dear Future Husband

Saw this image on someone’s FaceBook page earlier today. I instantly liked the pic, but it got me to thinking. Recently I am in a rebuild/transitional stage in my life. I’ve become more aware and actively holding myself accountable for my very uncomfortable situation, I have been in the last few years. I acknowledge my bullshit. I’ve written plans, and working towards solutions to reach all my goals. I try to forgive myself often and as quickly as possible, so I don’t harp on my mishaps. This is hard for me, I’m a perfectionist, and I over analyze EVERYTHING! Again, I know my BS and working on growing. I learn from myself, my actions, and make myself accountable.Dear future husband, I have absolutely no problem with working on me, I will acknowledged and apologize for my foolishness quickly. I am however still progressively learning how to stop doing some of the negative, and break the cycle of my generational crap. Working every day towards being the best Jada I can be.

This Jada I am working to become is a freaking rockstar! She has her shit together, all across the board. Financially, great credit, kind heartened, goal oriented, dream catcher, career thriving, living life in light as much as possible, loving, kind, in a heathy relationship with herself and her MAN. This Jada has a man that loves ALL of her, and she actually trust him to build and grow a bomb ass DYNASTY/FAMILY TOGETHER.

So back to the pic posted. When I read it, I liked it. I know too many women/men in the world who don’t want to work for the dream. They simply want the fantasy already assembled. No shade to these people, they know the game, and somehow figure out how to get others to take care of them.

Calling myself on my own personal bullshit, majority of the men I’ve dated have been bums. No ambition, no drive, no future, stuck in a ghetto mental telepathy as I once was.  I’ve allowed men to take from me without providing ANYTHING to my life other than stress. It wasn’t their fault at all, I ALLOWED this to happen. Because my self esteem, worth, and thoughts of myself were so negative and messy, these are the type of men I attracted in my life.

When I did date the more established and ambition men (lawyer, teacher, detective, sheriff, professional athlete), I ALLOWED them to treat me like shit because I wasn’t happy with me. Let me keep it all the way real, some of them didn’t even treat me like crap, I didn’t believe that I was worthy enough to be seen with them. I felt like because I didn’t have a big ass, didn’t own my own loft/condo, bad credit, no savings, pretty much because I wasn’t a “bad bitch” as described by social media and reality tv, I wasn’t desirable.

I am no longer this woman! Because of my evolution into Rock Star Jae, I now understand, appreciate, and know my worth and what I bring to the table (I’ve got IT). Not to toot my own horn, but even with my sometimes EXTREMELY annoying behaviors, and geeky nature, I’m pretty BOMB, and a lot of men have been TRYING to be on team Jae. Because they see this light, of confidence, intelligence, determination, and know my views on building a dynasty with my future mate, they want me to help them GET IT because I’ve GOT IT. What’s even crazier,  is this is the just the beginning. When I figure out how to effectively budget, save, and build wealth, I’m going to really be the 💩.

I digress back to picture posted. There is a very thin line between working with someone to help you GET IT, and one who will work to GET YOU because you GOT IT. Let me break it down a little more. Within this evolution, I’ve come across men who only want to be with me because they want me to SAVE them, or they think because of my current situation, I need to be SAVED. I find this trait in usually weak minded, insecure men. Now I am not saying I am better than anyone. I am simply saying I will not and can not “SAVE” any man. A man has to want the best for himself.

Example, I recently took this man up on his offer to take me out. Mind you, this is date number one. On this said date, he was 15 mins late for our date because I asked to meet him at the restaurant instead of meeting him at his house. I would normally leave after the first 5 mins but I’m working on my personal hang ups, so I stuck around. Less than 10 mins into the date, he offered to have my transmission fixed in exchange for me being his “woman” not WIFE. Not saying I would have accepted his proposal had he said wife, but after sitting and talking with this man for an hour, he let me know he had no plans for marriage.

After turning down his offer, we started the usual first day questions of single 30+ yr olds. Some how he felt comfortable enough to as me if I would help him with his company 😳. TF?! Astonished that he really had the nerve to ask me that, on a first date, I played it cool (new leaf, working on being less “bitchy” as some call it). I asked him about his business, his business plan/proposal, I asked did he have a grant/loan already, how was he funding his business. He told me, his aunt who helps him here and there with money, connected him with her older female friend who is writing his proposal and funding his company with out asking for any percentage 😳. Trying to save time and spare his feelings, I let him know I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that with a man I am not married to, let alone making that much of a commitment with a man I’ve only known for 30 mins. This man had the nerve to be offened, but not before he asked me to help him find a truck for his company. At this point all types of red flags are going off in my head. Not only is this man lazy AF, HE isn’t invested in his company. Why TF would I be?!?! The final straw was him asking if believed in him. I POLITELY told him no. Based on the look on his face, I may as well have laughed in his face. I told him that the fact of the matter was, I didn’t know him and based on our last hour together, I couldn’t believe in him because HE DID NOT BELIEVE IN HIM. He would rather find women to do all the work for him and rep the benefit. He paid for dinner, I left a good tip like I usually do. This man counted it and put $5 of the tip I left for the waiter into his pocket. He walked me to my car, I haven’t spoken to his since.

Dear future husband, with all this being said, I have NO problem working with a man who wants and is actively doing is own work to become the best man he can be. I do however have a problem with men who want others to do ALL the work for them. These are usually very unhealthy people which lead to unhealthy relationships. I simply want no part.  I personally  NEED a God fearing, spiritual man who will be the head of our dynasty. A man who will lead, and provide. I need a man who is strong enough in who he is to know his faults and work towards greatness. A man who confidently knows I am working as well. I need a stable partner who is trustworthy. A foundation of trust in each other’s moves, believing that the moves we are making both together and separately, will harvest the foundation of a great future.

 

Gotta Miss My Damn Self With The B💩

I’ll admit it, I’ve been in a funk! I’m so ready for the next step, I’m going to need God to come on through and give me light. Although it may sound like I’m complaining, honestly I’ve been in a happier place. Been doing my work to keep negativity out of my space and mind, but for the past few weeks I’ve been drained! It clearly doesn’t help that I decided a few months ago  (6 to be exact) to do this celibacy thing again 😰. I cut off my entire roster 😖, and it feels like I’m ovulating every freaking day of my life 😫…. I seriously don’t remember it being this hard last time I did this. I underestimated the power of touch, so needless to say, I’ve been on edge.

Aside from some pretty pathetic text I’ve sent to a few exs the past few weeks, I’ve been figuring out how to cope. Hold up, before I go any further, I need a quick praise break. I seriously need to thank God for the closed doors, and miscommunication between myself and my exs, bc if it were up to me, I would have slipped and fell on a penis like two months ago! How dear you judge me…. I KNOW for a FACT single women go through this, some of us are way too cool to EVER acknowledge the need for D we experience. But I digress, I’ve been coping sorta.

If I’m being completely honest with myself, my self esteem has been in the basement. I feel so unattractive right now. But let me be the first to call my own BULLSHIT, it’s all me. I have a slew of men who frequent my DM and text. I’ve been on dates. Even had a man offer to pay for the new transmission I need in my truck…. but I’m not feeling any of them. Again being honest, I’m not feeling myself right now.  Although I’ve made  conscious decisions to be more productive and happier in my life, I am NO where near where I want to be. I am unhappy with me right now, so even if I have met HIM in the past few weeks, I would not have known.

Another fact, I need a change. Winter and I don’t really see eye to eye any more. I need sun!!! With that being said, I understand why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling. I need sun in my life, I’m so ready to blossom and continue growing in life and dream career. I’m so tired of not tapping my potential. I am tired of being surrounded by the same people I am forced to work with and damn near sit on top of. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for the paycheck and health benefits. I love that Obama-care has allowed everyone to qualify for medicaid, and that I am a part of the process, but I know there is so much more to life than pushing paper work, hearing co workers bitterly throw shade at others and talk about L&HH all day.

I’ve become some what of a negativity blocker (thank God for headphones, and a tamed tongue). I’ve been working on inner peace, and I even try to give my co workers a daily positive thought of the day (even when I’m not feeling the love). Again quick praise break, thank God that what I do isn’t for mans approval. I’m blessed that I have matured into that much needed revolution! Some of my co workers love the inspiration, and have started contributing quotes. Others hate like all haters do, and constantly kick my back in. This is to be expected. I’ve been at this company, with these same people for 7 yrs of my life, so I know what time it is. I understand these people, and have made a choice to try my best not to live in the toxic land of negativity they choose to constantly take part in.

Key words, I try my best,  but I am only human (a human who isn’t having sex right now may I remind you). So the past few weeks my best has not been enough to maintain my peace of mind. No excuses though, I have to shake this funk and get my life! For my own personal health and well being I have to keep moving! This insert was a step towards movement. Now will I ever post this, I am unsure. But what I do know is that I have to keep writing and moving forward. Writing is my only release right now, until God opens some other doors for a better tomorrow!

Come Through Cam With Your IDGAF Pants 🙌🏾

Initially as I witness Cam stepping off the plane in San Fran for Super Bowl 50 earlier today, I thought “WTF! WHY CAM?!” Initially as I sit down to write this blog I was prepared to go ALL THE WAY IN on Cam Newton’s choice of almost $900 zebra-print Versace pants. In my mind I thought, why would he do this. I began to list the reason this was in my opinion a bad move for Cam. One he is a 6’5 black man in America with perfect teeth 😁. Two, it seems as if the world (or at least the sports world) has a huge target on this man’s back. Three, why does he need to draw more attention to himself?!  But as I’m on the phone with my cuzzo, she puts so much in prospective for me.  Side note, gotta take a quick moment to thank God for family, friends and am amazing support system that honestly care. Will call me on my foolishness, and pray my strength through the storm. Ok back to Cam.

As my wise cousin so eloquently put it, “Cam has his head on straight. He knows who he is and is walking in his light”.  As I start to ponder her words, she continues. “Cam understands, ‘They are going to talk anyway, why not give them a reason'”. As I did my research on Cam, I noticed he has been the same guy since day one. I feel that he is now more comfortable in his own skin! Cam has been unapologetic about EVERYTHING CAM NEWTON this season. From his “blackness”, to his now legendary ‘Dab’ in-zone celebration sessions, to the birth of his new child, Cam has been himself. This includes his fashion style. I seriously respect a man with as much IDGAFness Cam displays earlier today! Check out some of Cam’s styles below. ✌🏾

 

 

cam-newton-main

Dear Lord those dimples/arms/smile 😍